Growing Up

Yesterday, I got a job. Next week, I take Driver’s Ed. Next month, I turn sixteen. Throw in a few other things that have happened this week. I’m growing up, and quite frankly, it’s terrifying.

In my head, 2007 was still three years ago. My Chemical Romance is still a band. One Direction’s hot new single is ‘What Makes You Beautiful’. But it’s not true. MCR is sadly gone, and so is One Direction. And 2007 was ten years ago.

I’m on my second puberty. I’m going through twice the amount of BS I was told I’d go through in that weird fifth grade sex ed video they made us watch. And it sucks. I’m a good 25% acne at this point.

I’m almost halfway done with high school. When I was at my first high school assembly and they told me the time would fly by, I scoffed and turned to my friends and said “yeah, right”. But here I am, and holy cow. This has flown by quicker then I could ever imagine.

My brother is going off to college soon. I’m wearing his university sweatshirt as I type this right now. I still can’t even grasp the fact that he has a driver’s license and he drives me everywhere (sorry about that, Josh). He turns eighteen in about two weeks, and I’m in shock.

My dog is quite visibly aging. Her fur has grayed, she walks slower, and she’s more irritated by the littlest things than before. She’s almost nine and a half. I got her right after her second birthday, and I remember the exact day I got her (January 9th) and I remember everything that happened on that day, to the toys I was playing with (Littlest Pet Shop) to Maddie first walking up the stairs to my house.

One of my best friends just got her driver’s license. My other best friend has a steady girlfriend. My friends are all planning their careers out, and so am I.

I want to be a gender psychologist when I grow up. I want to help diagnose people as transgender (upcoming post on being diagnosed as transgender soon), help get them hormones, and make them feel as happy as I felt when I first got hormones. I just want to make people happy.

And it’s all happening so fast.

I’m looking at colleges, I’m thinking about my financial future, and I’m even thinking about who I want to spend my life with (answer: a bunch of puppies in baby onesies. I don’t need anything else).

As I sit here and write this, I realize how much I’ve grown since I’ve come out. I’m only 15, and I’ve accomplished so much that I never thought I could.

I tend to think too far into the future. It’s time to live in the moment. And to let my teenage angst be free for as long as it’s socially acceptable. That being said, I still miss MCR.

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