One Year on Testosterone

Long time, no see. Sorry about that. 

Let’s rewind to September 25, 2015. 

Picture a pre-t Eli, still in that awkward phase of “Oh man I can’t tell your gender at all, time to guess and hope for the best” when strangers looked at him. Imagine him getting on his knees, begging his doctors to let him go on T. Imagine him actually hugging them when they agree despite him being younger than they wanted. Fast forward to a little panic attack at the pharmacy, realizing they might not have the T there, and heaving a sigh of relief when the pharmacist pulls it out of the shelves. Once again, scene change to casa Cohen-Gordon. Don’t even need to imagine my mom drawing out the needle, I have a picture (of course it was captioned “GET THAT DRUGS MA on Finsta)

That moment was filled with pure anticipation. I was never that excited tor a shot before. And after all that hype, it was done in one minute.

I was almost bummed. I wanted all the changes right then. I wanted my deep voice and hairy chest and all those goods. I even tricked my mind into thinking my voice was lowered after 15 days. But alas, I had (have actually) a long journey ahead of me yet. 

Now here I am, September 25th, 2016. Looking a little chubbier and hairier and rough around the edges, but still the same Eli I was. My personality hasn’t changed (a fear of mine. I thought I would be too angry all the time to be me), and I’m still just stressing over math homework. 

As for physical changes, there’s been a ton and some I won’t name, so I’ll make a list.

  • Voice (went from a soprano to a baritone)
  • Hair (hair everywhere. It’s scary. Also my hair grows faster, but less thick)
  • Acne (already had this, but it’s all over my arms and back now too)
  • Weight (I need to lose a little weight. I gained at least forty pounds)
  • Adam’s apple (one of the first changes. I’d have people touch my neck, I loved it so much)
  • Skin (a lot less smooth)
  • Height (I grew a quarter of an inch and my feet went up a size, which is a huge event to me)

As for emotional changes…

  • Anger (when I get angry, I get angry. Never been one for violence but now it comes out)
  • Numbness (With the exception of anger, I don’t feel moods to the extreme I used to)
  • Hunger (CONSTANT. HUNGER. I WILL EAT EVERYTHING IN MY LINE OF SIGHT. Also gained a liking for red meat, which I never had before)

So that’s the basic gist of all the changes that have happened. Now, time to stop procrastinating and get back to this english paper. I hope writing for a different thing is a viable excuse for a poor quality paper. 

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